This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will pee on everything he values.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
