ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
