I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
