Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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