my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
