Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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