I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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