I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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