But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
