How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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