You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
