I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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