The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
