Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This baby is an asshole
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
