You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Vodka?
Forever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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