But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
