i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Mom said you looked used
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
