i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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