Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
