After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
