Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
