It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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