my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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