I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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