He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
