do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
