The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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