I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
