I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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