is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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