you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize