the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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