can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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