my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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