she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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