We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Operation Purity has been aborted
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
