I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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