Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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