Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
