Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
