I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish I only lived at night.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
