he told me I talked like a deaf person
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
