I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
