so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
