Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize