i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
