Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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