Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
look no pants
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
