I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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