Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
