As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Randomize
