dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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