Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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