Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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