i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have feelings that need drinking.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize