We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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