have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
