Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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