I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize