I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
