i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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