do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
