I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
