I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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