He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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