Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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